The Light of The Morning.

I don't know what to write about today,

But I know it's been to long since I've written.

I feel large.

I'm struggling with my body lately.

I want it to be better.

I want to be better.

I don't really feel like I'm worth much lately.

I know I am. Or rather, I feel like I will be.

But I wonder if that is what my life will be,

A constant state of waiting to be worth it.

It's possible a reversal of fortunes is in the works.

Just as I feel less than capable, I am desired.

This does nothing to dispel my feelings of being phony.

Projected confidence is all fine, but a solid sense of inner self would be better.

But is it only projected confidence if you do frightening things of your own accord?

I asked a boy to dance this weekend. A stranger. 

I asked him to be my cowboy while Big & Rich's Save a Horse played.

He seemed scared. 

I got his phone number.

Turns out he's a nice Lutheran boy who teaches Sunday school.

A pastor's kid.

Then there's MJ,

He's also a very nice man.

I'll be seeing him this afternoon.

Curious.

Michael is ever-present, and I just want him to go away so I can move on.

He needs to stop liking everything I post on the facebook.

Reminding me that he thinks we're perfect.

The problem is I don't really like him at all anymore.

Just go away Mike, please? 

Stop being selfish.

I kind of want to post this on his wall.. That'd be bitchy though.