I want wounds.
New ones.
The scars are fading.
I miss accomplishing something.
No matter how sick.
I overcame.
But I want to revisit.
It's strange though.
I want to revisit to create something of aesthetic value.
Scarification.
How does that differ from cutting?
I want to see the insides.
A photo of the gaping wound.
Not just the aftermath.
It's becoming harder and harder to recall.
The puckering of skin as it buckles to accommodate.
A perversion of the human condition.
It's hard to find reason to avoid.
If I'm not incredibly sick does that make it worse?
I just want something new.
I don't think I'm okay right now.
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