...It is a feeling bigger and stronger than the ghost of a recollection that still haunts my mind. My mother is so much nicer to me when I am sick. It makes it very tempting to live in the past and take the frustration I feel out on my skin. I hope to avoid that...I think.

Though much of my past escapes me I still find that rather unpleasant memories perforate my daily life. If I were to speak as freely as my peers about my life I think they would find themselves rather amazed. Perhaps amazed is the wrong word to use.. They would understand the gravity of the secrets I carry inside me.. Maybe.

After work this evening I went to the Perkins with a couple co-workers and Eskimo's love interest. It was strange. I remember thinking, 'I'm one of those people now! I'm someone normal, here with friends and not family..' It was great fun, I believe I will visit with these folks again at some point in time. It's strange.. I have a lot of feelings awakened by the developments of the evening. I'm not precisely sure how to sort them out.